They say when you're ready, the teacher will appear. But sometimes I don't feel ready, and I don't recognise the teacher. It's only when I look back that I know it wasn't a normal day and they weren't an average person.

I was going through a particularly challenging time when this happened a few years ago. My girlfriend had just left me, my community in Honduras was beginning to separate and go their own way, I was flat broke, and the first signs of depression were starting to creep in.

Instead of feeling what I needed to feel (which was the fear of moving on and the sadness of letting go), I decided to pack up my things and hit the road.

On the ferry to the mainland, Utila was becoming smaller and smaller in the distance, and a familiar dread was kicking in.

I didn't notice the man next to me until he spoke. "The amount of good things in your life depends on your ability to notice them." He said. Maybe he was speaking to himself. He said those 15 words so nonchalantly and softly that I nearly missed them. But it felt like he was speaking directly to me.

I turned around to check, but he had already gone.

For weeks, I had been struggling to see the good in my life, and the world was beginning to feel dark and scary. So, for the rest of that ferry ride, with his words repeating in my head, I decided to think about as many good things as I could.

It was to kill time, really, but it ended up saving my life.

Here are a few things that came to mind:

  • I teach scuba diving in the Caribbean
  • I have amazing friends (even if they are far away)
  • I'm young, fit, and healthy
  • I travel the world
  • I have enough food in my bag to eat my next meal
  • I've got shoes on my feet
  • My family is mostly alive and well

I know it sounds small, but I immediately felt better about myself. I even started to feel lucky.

That was such a pivotal moment in my life because it quietly changed something fundamental. It redirected my negative thoughts into positive ones and helped me see what was good in my life instead of what was bad.

Years later, while I was teaching young kids on sailboats in the British Virgin Islands, a ritual we had was to ask them a question at the end of dinner.

"What was your favourite part of the day?"

They would then share their highlights one by one as everyone else listened.

It's amazing how even the most difficult of days had a few highlights once they focused on them. And focusing on them often changed their perspective on the day.

Martin Seligman called this the "Three Good Things", and it's something that has stayed with me ever since. I continue to practice it today.

Before my girlfriend and I eat dinner together, we take a moment to share three things we're grateful for. Often they're small, like hearing the frogs outside or Lao (our little ginger cat) coming for a cuddle. But that's the point. It's the small things that make the biggest difference, and once I started noticing them, everything changed.

Now my brain is trained to look for these moments during the day. I often catch myself saying "this is my favourite part of the day!" before smiling, because in that moment, when I notice the good things in my life, I'm right back on the ferry hearing those softly spoken words being whispered to the sea.

"The amount of good things in your life depends on your ability to notice them."