Making it to 80 is easy. (Easy for me to say!) It's a matter of genes, lifestyle choices, and just pure dumb luck. For me, a super bad planner, it was luck. If you're lucky enough to make it to 80, and if you're mindful, you can learn to thrive by paying attention to the small things in life, which are the most important.
I turned 81 in November 2025.
Here's what I have learned so far about old age.
It comes like a thief in the night
Old age comes on long and slow, like a turtle in slow motion, so you hardly see it coming. First, the turtle is so far over the horizon line that you can't see it. Then you start to hear rumors about it, notice your hands look old, and then a young person calls you Sir or Ma'am — and you suddenly realize you're old.
Turn toward the sunlight
My life has unfolded like a flower in spring, turning toward the sun. Jesus said in Matthew 6:29, "See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these." We are more beautiful than we know, especially if we learn to simply be ourselves, like a flower. For me, becoming 80 has been about turning toward the sun and becoming my true self.
Live in the here and now
We can't measure when old age begins or when it will end. There is no scientific instrument for that. The most important measure of being 80 is not a number. It's how much time you spend in the here and now, with your life partner, your family, and your friends. No one on their deathbed ever said, "I wish I'd spent more time working late, or scrolling on Instagram."
Small things matter the most
Old age is about one small thing after another. Don't get too caught up in the big things, or you'll miss your life, which is always about the small. The aroma of your favorite tea, steaming off the mug. Your lover's smile. What's happening now in each moment.
Turn off the TV
And turn off your smartphone. I recently read an article about seniors being addicted to their phones. In it, young people visiting their parents or grandparents struggled to connect because their parents were constantly on Facebook and TikTok. Who says seniors are tech-challenged? We're addicted to that shit, just like our kids. Turn off your TV and your smartphone and stop trying to be like your grandchildren instead of the wise elder you are.
Live on the sunny side
Research by Yale University psychologist Becca Levy shows that people with positive attitudes toward aging live about 7.5 years longer than those with negative views. And this benefit often exceeds factors like exercise or not smoking. Professor Levy shows how cultural beliefs and personal outlook impact health and longevity.
Levy's landmark study, published in The Journals of Gerontology, followed hundreds of individuals for over two decades, tracking their attitudes towards aging. Positive age beliefs were linked to better physical health, reduced cardiovascular events, improved memory, and greater resilience.
Living on the sunny side of the street can lead to a healthier, happier old age. And it's backed by science. I'm not a big fan of the objective art of science because all of life is subjective. But if I break my arm, I'm first going to see an orthopedist, not an acupuncturist. But I will think positive thoughts about my recovery.
Eat right, keep fit, and stay calm
Eat a balanced diet, don't drink too much (or not at all), hang loose, and calm the heck down! Don't take things so seriously. Go with the flow, help your neighbors, floss twice a day, and you'll be fine.
But you'll still die; we all will die — so enjoy the moment and spread the love because we're all in the same wonderful boat together.
Let go
Old age is about traveling lighter and lighter until, finally, we are unburdened. We've let go of all our possessions, except for love and kindness. And we can make our exit fully alive and aware of the most remarkable and mystical moment we will ever experience.
We won't be able to post it on Facebook or appear on TV to discuss it. It will be our private moment of exploration when we learn what no one else knows, what no one else can take from us. (Maybe there will be a tunnel with a white light at the end.)
We will learn the most precious secret of them all, and we won't be able to tell anyone about it.
The old man and his quest
I think of my old age as an adventure movie about an old man in denial of his age who begins to realize he's on a hero's journey, a quest, and a search for enlightenment in the most challenging time of his existence — and how he ends up having the time of his life! It's my movie, so I figure I get to write the screenplay and play the leading role.
The wisdom I'll exit holding
Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity. — Tao Te Ching, Verse Nine
Gary January 2026
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