The first time I interviewed for a job, the founder said something that poked at my beliefs, values, and principles. My first instinct was to snap back. Maybe I was insecure. Or my ego didn't want to be wrong. But the offence revealed my blind spots and a few uncomfortable truths about myself. Offence teaches me a few things I haven't made peace with yet.
Not everything requires a reaction or response.
Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius said, "If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed." It takes guts to apply that wisdom. Or even to live like that. We love being "open-minded" until someone challenges us.
Then we turn inwards and start defending our fragile sense of self. It's so hard for the ego to listen before it reacts. "What can I learn from this?" can do wonders for your self-understanding. But it's easy to switch to "How dare they?"
If you're easily offended, here's a mental reset: stop taking things personally. Ninety percent of what people say has nothing to do with you. They're projecting their own ego. And the faster you realize that, the quicker you will respond to life from a place of calm. It's key to freedom of mind. And from the drama of external experiences.
Stoic philosopher Epictetus was right, "What upsets people is not things themselves, but their judgments about things."
You can't change anyone. Not their biased views, opinions, or comments. You can waste energy fighting every one of them or use that energy to improve your self, thoughts, patience, and sense of humor. Start with humor. Nothing disarms ignorance like laughter and calm confidence.
Getting offended is easy. Responding from a calm self is hard. But one gives you power, and the other just gives you a headache. Next time someone says something that rubs you the wrong way, detach from the drama. Don't bark. The comment is not worth your peace. Use that to speak with clarity instead of rage. I'd rather be free than get attached to all the drama.
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response." — Viktor Frankl
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