You're always here. Right now, your consciousness is reading these words. You're the one noticing the screen. The one who can feel the chair under your body. The one who can sense the tiny mood you're in as you read. And that part of you doesn't come and go. It doesn't clock in and clock out. It's always present. Even when everything else is changing.
Wherever you are, there you are.
Experiencing reality outside consciousness never stops. From the minute you wake up to the minute you fall asleep, you're the subject. The experiencer. The one who's aware. The observer. Everything else: your thoughts about your regrets, future anxieties, the best times of your life, are all objects of reality. They come and go. They appear in your awareness, then disappear. But you, the awareness itself, you're always present.
Experiencing reality is like standing still in an empty room. Over time, the room changes. Furniture gets moved in and out. The walls get repainted. Sometimes it's bright, sometimes it's dark. People come in, hang out, leave. The temperature changes. But you're still standing there. You're the constant observer. The room and everything in it are just passing objects (temporary things) in your field of view.
Your identity works the same way.
You're not the thoughts. You're not the feelings. You're not your emotions. You're the space in which emotions arise and pass. You're not even really your body, not in the way we usually think. You're the awareness or consciousness that experiences the body. The one who notices. The one who's always been there, behind your eyes, watching your whole life play out from your perspective. Your memories, plans, your identity, even your whole life experiences, are all things that appear in consciousness. They come and go. They change. They contradict each other.
But you, the awareness itself, you're the constant. You've been there your whole life, watching and experiencing.
"You are not your thoughts; you are aware of your thoughts. You are not your emotions; you feel emotions. You are not your body; you look at it in the mirror and experience this world through its eyes and ears. You are the conscious being who is aware that you are aware of all these inner and outer things." ― Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul
It's weird, but it makes sense when you really sit with it. We spend so much time identifying with the objects: the thoughts, the emotions, the memories, the sufferings, that we forget we're actually the space in which they all appear. If you can detach from them when it matters, you're free. And set for the joy of detachment. But most people identify with all the passing experiences. And suffer. A lot.
A lot of your pain isn't caused by life.
It's caused by identifying with whatever is happening in your head. "I'm behind in life." "I ruined my chances." "People don't trust me." " I can't do anything right." These are all thoughts. The minute you become it, you merge with it. You treat it like a fact. Like a verdict of your life. And then you wonder why you feel the way you do. A critical thought appears, and you believe it. You become it. "I'm not good enough" stops being a thought passing through and becomes your identity. So now you have to defend against it, or fix yourself, or prove it wrong.
People even go further and identify with emotions like anger or shame. And act from it. They make decisions based on a temporary state that's passing through. Someone criticises you, and because you think you are your self-image, it feels like an attack on your very existence.
You can't let it go.
You think about it and suffer.
But if you can detach from it, it doesn't become you. It appears in your awareness, but it doesn't define you. "Just by being aware, thoughts start disappearing. There is no need to fight. Your awareness is enough to destroy them. And when the mind is empty, the temple is ready," Rajneesh said. All emotions pass. The good and the bad. Your kid does something that makes you proud? Feel that fully. Enjoy it. Let it fill you up. If you lose something important, grieve. Don't bypass the pain. But don't hold on when it's ready to go. You will always be the awareness behind them all. Nothing that appears in consciousness can actually touch it. Not until you identify with it. So don't.
"Control of consciousness determines the quality of life." — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Once you know this. And completely live by it, you're set for life. Nothing can really break you. Thoughts can't. Emotions can't. Circumstances can't. They're all just passing through. "You are the sky. Everything else — it's just the weather," says Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. Everything else comes and goes. Your mood changes. Your confidence rises and collapses. Your relationships are going through changes. And of course, your body too. Your very identity (personality) is evolving. But the one thing that has been with you through every version of yourself is the one who notices.
The observer.
The experiencer.
It's been there since you were a kid. It was there during your worst heartbreak. It was there when you felt proud of yourself. It's there now. Even if you've never paid attention to it. The knowledge and its practice change everything about how you live. You stop taking everything so personal. You make decisions from a place of calm. You don't get as hooked by the drama your mind creates.
You're free to be.
"Everything changes once we identify with being the witness to the story, instead of the actor in it." ― Ram Dass
The more you practice this, the more natural it becomes. You start living from a different perspective. It's not a one-time realisation. It's a practice: a remembering. You'll forget. You'll get sucked back into identifying with your thoughts a thousand times. It's all expected. That's what the mind does. But each time you remember, "Oh right, I'm not this thought, I'm the one noticing it," you're free again. And over time, that freedom becomes your principle for life.
A way of being.