I recently posted an article.
Within a minute, someone commented.
The story was 5 minutes long. The timing meant they didn't bother to read it and reacted to what they saw in the title.
This reminded me of my time when I'd react quickly to anything that felt offensive. And when a reaction comes from defense, it is because we have been living in a hypervigilant state where no one saw us.
But immediate reactions don't always come from a survival instinct. Sometimes they subtly hide pride and superiority. Dismissing others because we latch onto an identity. Even if it is being 'spiritual.'
When we identify ourselves as something, the need to react to (what seems) a direct hit to that definition comes fast and furious. Because it feels threatening.
We always remain in a defensive position, looking for anything that might look suspicious.
We don't realize this pattern unless it exhausts us. When we feel forced to pause and look.
The reverse direction
Often, we think the inner journey is forward.
But the reality is that it is backward.
We can't see our attachments until they drag us. But our reactions can become the signposts for where to be more aware.
The forward is going backward. From reaction to the root source.
From the agony of someone hitting us → Knee-jerk reaction → Emotional exhaustion → Being aware of the hidden, intense attachment
Of course, it does not happen overnight.
Identities, beliefs, and conditionings, or what we identify with, don't just fall away.
Life does the peeling off. Because we ourselves can't.
We don't know where we cling or what weighs us. Only when life shoves it in our faces do we realize it.
Sometimes it is a slow knock at our gates that may become urgent afterward. And sometimes it is a sudden collapse.
Neither is comfortable.
Holding the gate of wait
Once someone asked me, "Why is the inner journey not comfortable?"
Looking at the hoardings and advertisements, we think it should be easy and peaceful. But the truth is, it is deeply uncomfortable.
Because when we get comfort, we rarely want to let it go. We cling more.
And the inner journey means stripping off all facades.
Life is not the enemy that loves to inflict pain on us.
Instead, because of pain, we look at uncomfortable parts and try to understand them.
This understanding does not come when we are in a fury.
You can't look at your reflection clearly if ripples disturb the water. But it occurs when surface water quiets down, allowing us to look deeply within. And once you realize it, you begin to wait.
Wait for the —
- Initial impulse to die down.
- To understand fully before reacting.
- The entire story before jumping to judge from a tiny incident.
This may seem difficult at first.
But strangely, as your consciousness rises, it becomes effortless. Then, it flows naturally because of your awareness of the outside situation and your inside reaction.
Beyond the wait
The more we feed something, the more it grows.
And the same is true for stillness.
Waiting for reactive triggers to pass raises our awareness and silence.
What once started as reactive triggers slowly turns into waiting, then into awareness.
And the more you stay in it, the more it reveals itself.
Then you move beyond the waiting. And stay still in silence.
This state is not about waiting for the mind to understand things. In fact, it clears the mind of all densities that arise and vanish in that stillness.
Then all emotions become clear as they rise and fall away. Very few things attach, and they also become visible.
This is where peace comes from.
Not because you have mastered outside situations.
But because you have slipped out of the need to control it and rest in that stillness. The place where answers and directions naturally flow without undergoing any logical understanding.
From reactivity to non-reactivity
Silence is not mystical. It is always sitting quietly under the volcano of chaos.
And we reach it when we pass through that mess.
When emotions encroach, and the defense shield activates, turmoil erupts more.
But when waiting happens, the fog of it settles. The refusal to react on whim creates a distance between your peace and chaos. Then, triggers and boiling emotions become too visible to ignore.
Slowly, as you become more aware, silence fills the space where once impulse lived.
This silence does not come from logic or decision.
But as a gift from existence.
The hard path to this non-reactivity comes from seeing through the —
- Triggers,
- Reactive emotion,
- The intense urge to snap
Though the concept sounds beautiful. Living it can be challenging, especially when identities and attachments are strong. Then even a word against it feels like an assault, even if it is not.
But slowly, when clinging drops, the reaction becomes distant.
Then the reactivity that once was your defense drops. The anger that once shielded you fades away.
Because they feel unnecessary. Their weight seems dense compared to the non-judgment and peace it brings.
Emptiness that fills you
Silence is the foundation of non-reactivity.
Nobody just jumps there. The process may seem painfully slow. But then you no longer carry the extra weight of others on your head.
Then, instead of judgment, compassion comes.
Why?
Because once you witness your inner stripping, you become kinder to others. The fire makes you realize life is not easy. And everyone is fighting their own battles and reacting from where they stand.
Then you take yourself out of the equation. It stops feeling personal. And you stop adding more weight to others' psyches.
Because everybody has their journey to make, and you can't make anyone realize anything.
But we can use those situations to go deeper and realize our roadblocks silently.
"Is there a wave of irritation coming, or is there just a smile that sees through the facade?"
And let your every emotion come with no judgment. Even if it is anger. Because you don't have to act calm.
To be really at peace, you have to be empty from within, and this emptiness comes when you let suppressed emotions come and go, without lashing out at others.
The deeper you go, the closer you realize that stillness.
The more you let them go, the looser their grip becomes, freeing you and making you less reactive.
Then it does not remain as an act. But as your lived reality, where things don't touch your nerves as they used to.
You remain untouched.
Not as powerful a king. But as a fragile saint who is in sync with life.
Not fighting it, but living it peacefully from within, no matter what the outer circumstances are.