There's still so much uncertainty right now. Between the doom and gloom news, oil crises and all the career anxiety, you are right to feel overwhelmed. Most people are confused about what to do next. The dysfunction in the world right now is breaking spirits. But it's not all bad. I will keep repeating this. We don't control what's happening. But we can respond to life from a different reality. We control who we are. And what we do. If you want to feel better, get back to what's in your circle of influence. Do more for yourself. These are a few of the most important things in life as we go through tough times. They have helped people for centuries. I've been applying them for years.
# Clarity about what you want. Most people are living on autopilot. Waiting. Reacting to what doesn't make sense. If you get back to doing things, your brain can get a break. You have a choice. The stoics used the word prohairesis to describe one of the most important ideas in their philosophy. It means your power of choice or your will. The will directed at what's truly yours. That's why Marcus Aurelius said, "You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength." Know what you're aiming at, so you stop wasting energy on what you can't change. Find clarity by writing down what a good day looks like for you. If you can't describe it, you're starting the day blind. If what you write down looks nothing like your real life, you have the information you need to change that. Clarity is hard work. But you don't want to make vague decisions. They compound into a life you won't recognise. Understand what you want to see things more clearly.
# A small number of quality relationships. The people who recover from hard times fastest are the most connected. Find your people. The aim is to get back to meaningful conversations. Robert Waldinger, who runs the harvard study of adult development summarised 85 years of data and said, "good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period." Forget hundreds of linkedIn connections. Nurture a good relationship with two or three people who will tell you the truth. Those you can call in a crisis. Or talk about what you feel without judgement. In careers, these relationships are also your best professional insurance. When the market changes, your company downsizes, or your niche disappears, they will be there for you. Invest in a few people properly.
Be there for them. Be honest with them. Ask for help before you desperately need it. This is the most underrated secret to a good life.
# The ability to learn continuously. And quickly. Your career is not a ladder anymore. It's more like a river. Things keep changing. Right now, skills become obsolete faster than you think. New ones appear, too. If you stop learning, you're living backwards. Darwin didn't say the strongest survive. What he described was adaptability. The organisms and people who persist are those who respond well to change. The good news is learning quickly is a learnable skill. There are specific practices that accelerate it. Teach what you've just learned to someone else. It forces you to find the gaps in your knowledge. Practice in public.
Build with the new skill immediately. Get feedback early, not after months of refinement. Don't just watch online courses. Or read without applying. Neither produces competence. Find the edge of what you can do. Work just past it. That's how you grow. If you are too comfortable, you are maintaining habits and routines. Build better leverage.
# Financial resilience. Wealth is accumulation. Resilience is flexibility. They're different things. And right now resilience matters more. Can you survive a job loss for six months without losing your mind? If you can, your finance is resilient. If you've tied your entire financial future to the pay check, you can do better. Most people are one emergency away from collapse. But it's not too late. You can start thinking about options. Or better yet still, double down on your skills. Don't make plans, make options.
They will take you through tough times. "An option is what makes you antifragile and allows you to benefit from the positive side of uncertainty, without a corresponding serious harm from the negative side," says Taleb. Don't let someone else's timeline force your decisions. Financial fragility hands that control to circumstances. Resilience keeps it with you. If you can get to three to six months of living expenses in a savings account, it will change your relationship to fear.
# The discipline of attention. Everything on your pocket black screen is engineered to hijack your focus. That means your attention is very valuable. How you spend it changes everything. William James, writing in 1890, called the ability to bring wandering attention back voluntarily "the very root of judgment, character, and will." He was right then. He's more right now. "Discipline is the only fence high enough to keep your focus from being stolen." "The quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention. Every time you mindlessly unlock that screen, you are trading a piece of your reality.
The good news is discipline is a practice. Schedule blocks of uninterrupted work. Even 90 minutes. And protect them like meetings. Train your attention muscle to stay with the important things in life. Attention is what allows you to experience your life. Most people merely exist.
# The capacity to hold uncertainty and your practical life in mind and still retain the ability to function. Tough times come with uncertainty in almost all areas of life. Our instinct to resolve that uncertainty as fast as possible, even if the resolution is a source of misery. This is how bad decisions get made. Panic-selling investments. Taking a terrible job offer out of fear. The ability to remain in uncertainty without irritably reaching for a solution will take you through the worst times. It's a skill. When you feel the urge to decide immediately, wait. Give yourself a few hours or days if you must. Find the knowledge that would help you decide. Don't immediately look for relief. Distinguish between what is unknown and what just feels uncomfortable. Those are different problems.
The best decisions are made from a position of calm. Get rid of the urgency. Learning to sit with the discomfort of not knowing is the prerequisite for a better life. You don't need all the answers to make life make sense. If you can hold the "void" and your "life" in the same hand and still function, you are more capable than you think.
# And finally, find a reason for "being." A reason, a purpose that extends beyond your immediate survival changes your relationship with life. Viktor Frankl wrote, "Those who have a 'why' to live can bear almost any 'how.'" "The soul which has no fixed purpose in life is lost; to be everywhere, is to be nowhere, Montaigne said. Without a reason for being, your energy is scattered across minor distractions and immediate impulses. In careers, doing "good work" makes you durable. People who are working toward something beyond themselves persist longer through setbacks.
A reason can be creating your "great" work, making your team better, solving a problem and taking any action to design the life you want. When your actions align with a reason beyond yourself, your "survival" transforms into a mission. But don't overthink this. Sometimes, the "why" is as simple as a personal creative project, a person you love, or a version of yourself you meet daily. "The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for," says Dostoevsky. Your life is never made unbearable by tough times. But only by lack of meaning. When the "how" of life becomes painful, a clear "why" prevents that pain from turning into despair.